Doug Ecks
6 min readNov 18, 2020


Beholder Baseball and Other Bad Ideas Chapter 2

Beholder Baseball image Doug Ecks

“I’m bored” Megan whined petulantly.

“Get over it” was Edmund’s reply.

“That’s the response of my loyal retainer and commander of my guard?”

“Yes” was his succinct reply.

“Remind me to have you draw up an order for your execution” she said airily.

“Of course Milady Megan, I will remind you promptly.”

“Somehow I doubt that.”

“You’re an astute judge of character. And you’re not bored.”

“I’m not?”

“No, you are missing a certain lovely red haired succubus and thus aren’t interested.”

“Exactly. Bored.”

“There’s a difference. Bored is having nothing to do. You have a great deal to do, you know running this little kingdom me and Phil conquered for you.”

“You and Phil?”

“Well you helped” he conceded.

“Helped!? If not for me the Duchess would have squashed you all flat and incinerated the remains.”

“True. But we took on her guard and raised an army…”

“You raised a bandit company. Hardly an army.”

“It had fighting men”

“It had you, Phil and a couple of rejects from a theatre company.”

“They were hired guards for a traveling theatre company. They’re very good mercenaries.”

“Have you seen them fight?”

“Well no, not actually come to think of it.”

“Then maybe they’re just playing mercenaries.”

“Then they are very good actors.”

“And what of my knights? How is Lance doing?”

“Lance” Edmund said in a falsetto parodying her.

“What’s your problem with Lance?”

“He follows you around like a puppy dog.”

“And that bothers you why? Taking your job?”

“I don’t follow you around like a puppy.”

“Because I ordered you to stop” she said with a smirk.

Edmund pouted.



Doug Ecks

Doug Ecks, Esq is a lawyer and member of NLG-LA. He is also a stand up comic and author. You can support my writing at