Member-only story
I’m a skeptic in truth, an agnostic at best
and the holiday season just caused me unrest
but once upon a time in my holiday blues
a very strange story I’ll tell unto you
Santa rolled out of bed as one does
from between a beautiful elf and a sweet Mrs. Claus
He left behind taxi fare for the elf
because the old boy isn’t shy with his pelf
then he went to the jam shop and ordered some tea
and that’s when the round one ran into me
He asked if I’d had a good happiest eve
and I admitted that cares had unraveled my sleeve
He clapped me on the shoulder and his belly did quiver
and passed me a snifter saying ‘here’s to your liver’
then we were off to a strip club and my spirits were lifted
a lap dance from all of them St. Nick was gifted
I wanted to tell the jolly one how much this meant
but while my back was turned off with a lady he went
still my spirits were lifted and though I still don’t believe
these days I cannot help but smile when it comes Xmas Eve
In addition to being a lawyer and a writer for Medium I write novels and perform stand up comedy as Doug X. My latest novel is Succubus Schemes
